On Aging

[countessmouse]

My 89 year old grandmother was moved into a nursing facility. Up until about this time last year, she had been able to live in her own home, helped by the fact that cousins own homes across the street and catty-corner to hers. But she started falling, not taking her medicines as directed which exacerbated the falling issues, and generally showing signs that she just wasn't able to care for herself. Her stays with my parents became longer and longer in duration and finally, around Thanksgiving, she just ended up there permanently. During my two visits to New Orleans in June, it was pretty apparent how much she had aged in the last year. In the month and a half since then, she has had another health issue, taken a particularly bad fall that scared my Mom to death, and basically lost her mobility.

I think Grandma is happier at the nursing home, which my parents assure me is very, very nice. She has her own room, her own phone number and her TV and she is getting the care she needs. My Mom's health isn't all that great and she just couldn't handle the full-time care, even with some visiting nurse and physical therapy assistance. My Dad starts his partial retirement in about a month, and he and Mom are in the process of buying my uncle's share of Grandma's house and are planning to live up there as early as next year.

Then, two weeks ago, my ex let me know that he and his brother had to move their 88 year old dad up to Dallas. Ned is living with the brother (which is good, because my ex isn't much of a caretaker) and the pretty house in Fredericksburg that he built for their mom is in the process of being sold. I hope to be able to take Ned to lunch sometime soon, just to visit with him. His son and I may no longer be together, but he was my other dad for 25 years and that bond is still there.

My parents are aging, too. And getting smaller. The last time I was home, Mom asked me if I had grown (yeah, that's going to happen at 45) and my response was, "no, Mom, I think you and Dad are shrinking." Dad is remarkably healthy for a 71 year old. Mom, on the other hand, seems to have more and more health problems every year.

I have found myself thinking quite a lot about recently. It's almost as if you know they are getting older, and then all of the sudden you realize how physically altered they become. How frail they are. And it makes me very sad to know how close the end can suddenly be.

Comments

[soldiergrrrl.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. :-(

[robinanderson.livejournal.com]

Hugs. What is even scarier to me is noticing my own ageing and realizing I am starting to have more health problems of my own too. Then I really worry about my parents.